Goodbye to Farrah and Michael Jackson

What an incredibly sad day yesterday was! It wasn't until late in the afternoon that I learned that Farrah Fawcett had lost her 2+ year battle with Anal Cancer, but then right after I got out of the Dr's office at 6:30, I heard on the radio about Michael Jackson! What a major shocker!

I've got to say though that I feel bad for Farrah. Her death was so tragic because she fought so very hard. Anal Cancer is such a difficult disease to fight...believe me, I know. My previous significant other, Alan, died of the same thing.

The cancer, which begins as a tumor in the anus, is so much different than colo-rectal cancer. It's infinitely more painful to begin with. Colorectal Cancer is more in the colon, and inside the colon there are no nerve endings, which is why that cancer has been dubbed "The silent Killer". Anal cancer is located in the actual anus, which is lined with one of the most intense nerve clusters in the human body. Alan said that he was always in pain from that tumor and it's location where it was. He had to sit down oh, so gently when he sat in even the softest chair.

It's seems traditional for this cancer to spread from there to the liver. For the life of me, I'll never understand why. From there it moved from Alans liver into his lungs and his lymph nodes. As soon as we knew it had gotten into his lymph nodes we knew that his chances had decreased significantly. I understand that Farrah was lucky somewhat, in that she didn't get hit with the lymphatic cancer right away, and I believe that it's possible that is the reason that she got more time to fight than Alan did. It took Alan only 8 months to pass away after the inset of his cancer. Farrah got two and a half years of fight. I'm oddly proud of her for it, even though I never got the chance to meet her and have no right to be proud of her. I've watched her throughout her entire career though, and I feel as though I know her.

My heart goes out to Ryan O'Neal, whose life over the past two and a half years I have incredible empathy for. It's a horrible ride Mr. O'Neal, and I know...words cannot express how it was, or how you feel. Just hang in there. Time doesn't heal all wounds, but it makes it so that you can remember the good times more than you remember the bad times...and that alone is a huge help. Until then, hang with your family and friends...or whatever support system you have. You'll never make it on your own. You have to let the experiences of the past three years out...all the horror of it all. Only then can you begin to heal.

The first time I ever saw Farrah I think was on "I Dream of Jeannie," where I believe that she played one of Major Healy's girlfriends...but it was a very very long time ago. I also remember watching her through all of her commercials...until the NOTORIOUS 1970's iconic poster which made her the Queen of all things Blonde. Perhaps that's why I enjoyed her so much...she was the Queen of the Blondes?

MJ on the other hand...what can one say about him? Talk about a lifetime of ups and downs! When he was on the up, he was AWESOME! When he was down...wow...you can't get any lower. I'll choose to remember him for the Superstar that he was rather than the other. The man made some incredible music and changed the face of music in the 80's. He helped bring the music video art form to a brand new level not seen by anyone up to that time. He was amazing, and he will be sorely missed. I would have liked to have seen him successfully resurrect his career, as was what this batch of upcoming tours and concerts in London were supposed to do for him.

I think his tragedy is that he was only 50. I mean really, that's only 6 years older than I am right now! They are talking on the news at this very moment about how it might take toxicology 7-10 days to come back with the results of his bloodwork and what drugs might be in his system. There was an interview a few minutes ago with one person who said that they saw him just last week, and they thought that he looked overmedicated. I hope this doesn't turn out to be another Anna Nicole Smith type death....that would be so very sad, and such a waste! You would think that Doctor's would pay a lot more attention to what they are prescribing and mixing up for their patients, and the way that these drugs effect each other. People like MJ are especially vulnerable to things like that, as he was probably 100% trusting that his doctors were doing the right things for him. It's all so very, very sad.

Well, I've chatted myself out on the subject here. The only thing I have left to say is "Rest in Peace Farrah and Michael." You both made the world a better place by being in it.

Coming out of tight spots.

Hey all,

I'm going to blog about my life today because I haven't done it in such a long time, and things are starting to turn around a bit, so I figured now was the time rather than when I'm all depressed about it.

I got a notice at the end of last month that "Neighborhood Finance" was going to try to foreclose on my house at the end of this month. This was very very worrysome since they wanted $2500 by the 26th of June in order to avoid it. Lucky for me I decided to give them a call! Since I have a court case coming up where we are trying to commute a portion of my settlement from my back injury into a lump sum of cash, the mortgage company agreed to put off on foreclosure until we got done with court and will allow me to pay the lump then...in August instead of right now. I was thrilled. I had to make a payment right away though, and it was a bit of a struggle to come up with it, but we DID come up with it thanks to a few friends, and thanks to the things that i've been collecting over the past several years. his time I sold my Hollywood Autograph collection to a pawnbroker for $250. It was worth well over $400, but oh well...what can one do?

I've been having really terrible smoking related problems with my health lately too. I've caught pneumonia, and it's really been wreaking havoc with me over the past month. I have no health insurance anymore thanks to work forgetting to pay the premiums, and so I've been unable to follow up at the doctor the way that I should be doing it when I'm sick like this. I've also had terrible pain in my throat, a scratchy painful feeling that has been going on for several months now, and I'm very worried about that. Sometimes I have what I call a "throat attack", where an deep inner pain starts to build up, moves up my face and into my temples, and the only thing that will stop it is a cough drop. Sometimes if I try to take deep breaths it works too. A cough drop will stop it almost immediately though. All of these things are happening, and I also have been having the worst case of the sweats that Ive EVER had. I read on the internet about sweats, and it appears to be most common in people with Hyperthyroid conditions. Of course, since I'm diabetic, I wonder if the pills that I take for the diabetes are doing something to my thyroid as well. Also, I'm very very tired all the time. I've almost fallen asleep while typing this, and I'm at work!!! The list of woes goes on and on, including a lump that's about twice the size of a golf ball in my left bicep....which they (My Doctor and one other Dr too) swore to me was just a fatty mass after doing a CAT scan on it. I sure hope they were right...cause it's STILL growing.

Now, on the UP side, wow! My Garden has really taken off! Everything has come up with one exception, the peas, and I think it's because it's just too hot for peas now, since they are a cool weather veggie. I even have a few fruits and veggies on the vines right now too, including an Anaheim pepper, a grape tomato, and finally a cucumber. I'm really excited about the rest of the season getting here, as all it really needs now to flourish is a lot more sunshine and water...and I'm not talking about what we've been having--95 degrees with 100% humidity. That's just plain evil for Ma Nature to be doing to us AND to the plants. It's so hot outside that the plants are withering during the day even though the soil that they are standing in is plenty moist. I wonder if the roots are boiling sometimes it's so blasted hot! I'm thinking that I should have radishes that can be eaten in about two weeks! It's all pretty exciting to see something that you've worked so hard on be successful like this. I just wish I had realized just how expensive it was going to be.

My only concern in the garden is really the tomato plants. Last year they didn't bear fruit all that much because of a calcium shortage in the soil. This year I bought a soil additive specificlly for tomato plants that added calcium to the soil, but I don't know if that's going to be enough for them or not. I may wind up doing the milk thing again, much like Al did a few years back.

Okay, I guess that's all for now. I'm going to try to work on my jewelry website for a bit now. Take care all!