Nightmares

For about the past six months, I've been having a terrible time sleeping at night. I think I've finally discovered the reason why.

About a year ago, I had what I called a "Demonic Dream". Since that time I decided to keep a Dream Journal and see what comes of it. Looking back over it, I've discovered that the problem is that I have nightmares...lots and lots of nightmares.

My nightmares aren't typical either. Last night I had a horrible dream that was a repeater...I had it three times before I woke up near screaming, and each time was more vivid and graphic than the time before. I'll put it in a nutshell for you....I dreamed that a dog bit the head off of a cat and then he turned on me. I wound up having to shoot the dog, but he wouldn't die. I had shot him in the head twice by the time I woke up, and I was so covered in my own blood and full of holes that I couldn't tell whether I was going to survive or not. There were some stupid "gay" overtones to the dream too, but I don't think that they are worth mentioning...something about having a Gay Beach Day in Des Moines, and making special necklaces out of "Bumblebee Beads"...weird stuff.

I've had worse dreams than this one too. The demonic dreams are tame in comparison, but they scare me just as much and there's usually not any blood and gut involved in those.

It's possible that my nightmares are a product of the medications that I take. If this is the case, then I'm screwed! I am rather dependent on these medications now after having taken them for three + solid years, and it's going to be a bear to drop them!

Anyway, it's not the right time to drop them. I have had something happen recently that's really troubling me. I've lost feeling to the skin on my right leg from the knee down to my ankle. I can feel my foot, but I'm wondering if when I stop taking the medication if that feeling is going to turn to pain, or just stay a numb sort of feeling. That would really suck if it turned into pain. I think that somehow though I've managed to have another disc herniate and this is just the progression of my De-generative Disk Disease, and if I do stop taking the more narcotic medications right now, I'll suffer from even greater pain. I have an appointment with my pain Doc next Monday, and hopefully he'll help me get to the bottom of this pain thing.

I could probably go on and on, but I'm off of the main subject now as it is. I may post other nightmares, but I'm afraid that you all will think I'm a mass murderer in Mike's body or something. A LOT of them have to do with killing people or wandering into situations where people want to kill me. There's lots of blood and guts in them, and they're just ucky.

If anyone has any suggestions to offer to help me with these dreams (aside from praying before bed...I do that already) please drop me a line and let me know.

Thanks!

So much to do and no time to do it in...

The title says it all. I have waaaay to much to do, and no time to get it done in. I'm trying to get the house packed and get ready to move to Corpus Christi, but I'm overwhelmed and it's taking me way longer to do it than it should be.

I think that the big problem is that I really have forgotten how to move long distance. We need to have a sale, but having a sale in the dead of winter is a really big problem! It's going to have to be well advertised, and it's going to have to be indoors. My house is a nightmare! I'm nowhere ready to have a sale! The things I need to sell too, like a refrigerator, and a freezer, and a couple of dressers are all items that I need to continue using for the time being too...especially the fridge. How does one sell things that they are going to continue to need until they leave?? See what I mean? I've totally forgotten how to do it!

The money issues are really starting to make me cave too. I'm going to need a truck, and I only want to rent it for the shortest amount of time that I can. The size truck that we need is the biggest one, and it's going to cost $1200 to use it for a week and return it down in Corpus. That's a butt load of money in my book. Not to mention we are going to need deposit money, and first and last months rent possibly to get an apartment. All of that is stress, and the stress is really getting to me.

I'm open to advice, opinions, and any good ideas. "You should just stay" is not an option, so don't say it. I've already let the house go, so I can't even do that anymore.

Talk to me people!

Thanks!