About a year ago, I had what I called a "Demonic Dream". Since that time I decided to keep a Dream Journal and see what comes of it. Looking back over it, I've discovered that the problem is that I have nightmares...lots and lots of nightmares.
My nightmares aren't typical either. Last night I had a horrible dream that was a repeater...I had it three times before I woke up near screaming, and each time was more vivid and graphic than the time before. I'll put it in a nutshell for you....I dreamed that a dog bit the head off of a cat and then he turned on me. I wound up having to shoot the dog, but he wouldn't die. I had shot him in the head twice by the time I woke up, and I was so covered in my own blood and full of holes that I couldn't tell whether I was going to survive or not. There were some stupid "gay" overtones to the dream too, but I don't think that they are worth mentioning...something about having a Gay Beach Day in Des Moines, and making special necklaces out of "Bumblebee Beads"...weird stuff.
I've had worse dreams than this one too. The demonic dreams are tame in comparison, but they scare me just as much and there's usually not any blood and gut involved in those.
It's possible that my nightmares are a product of the medications that I take. If this is the case, then I'm screwed! I am rather dependent on these medications now after having taken them for three + solid years, and it's going to be a bear to drop them!
Anyway, it's not the right time to drop them. I have had something happen recently that's really troubling me. I've lost feeling to the skin on my right leg from the knee down to my ankle. I can feel my foot, but I'm wondering if when I stop taking the medication if that feeling is going to turn to pain, or just stay a numb sort of feeling. That would really suck if it turned into pain. I think that somehow though I've managed to have another disc herniate and this is just the progression of my De-generative Disk Disease, and if I do stop taking the more narcotic medications right now, I'll suffer from even greater pain. I have an appointment with my pain Doc next Monday, and hopefully he'll help me get to the bottom of this pain thing.
I could probably go on and on, but I'm off of the main subject now as it is. I may post other nightmares, but I'm afraid that you all will think I'm a mass murderer in Mike's body or something. A LOT of them have to do with killing people or wandering into situations where people want to kill me. There's lots of blood and guts in them, and they're just ucky.
If anyone has any suggestions to offer to help me with these dreams (aside from praying before bed...I do that already) please drop me a line and let me know.
Thanks!
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