Nightmares

For about the past six months, I've been having a terrible time sleeping at night. I think I've finally discovered the reason why.

About a year ago, I had what I called a "Demonic Dream". Since that time I decided to keep a Dream Journal and see what comes of it. Looking back over it, I've discovered that the problem is that I have nightmares...lots and lots of nightmares.

My nightmares aren't typical either. Last night I had a horrible dream that was a repeater...I had it three times before I woke up near screaming, and each time was more vivid and graphic than the time before. I'll put it in a nutshell for you....I dreamed that a dog bit the head off of a cat and then he turned on me. I wound up having to shoot the dog, but he wouldn't die. I had shot him in the head twice by the time I woke up, and I was so covered in my own blood and full of holes that I couldn't tell whether I was going to survive or not. There were some stupid "gay" overtones to the dream too, but I don't think that they are worth mentioning...something about having a Gay Beach Day in Des Moines, and making special necklaces out of "Bumblebee Beads"...weird stuff.

I've had worse dreams than this one too. The demonic dreams are tame in comparison, but they scare me just as much and there's usually not any blood and gut involved in those.

It's possible that my nightmares are a product of the medications that I take. If this is the case, then I'm screwed! I am rather dependent on these medications now after having taken them for three + solid years, and it's going to be a bear to drop them!

Anyway, it's not the right time to drop them. I have had something happen recently that's really troubling me. I've lost feeling to the skin on my right leg from the knee down to my ankle. I can feel my foot, but I'm wondering if when I stop taking the medication if that feeling is going to turn to pain, or just stay a numb sort of feeling. That would really suck if it turned into pain. I think that somehow though I've managed to have another disc herniate and this is just the progression of my De-generative Disk Disease, and if I do stop taking the more narcotic medications right now, I'll suffer from even greater pain. I have an appointment with my pain Doc next Monday, and hopefully he'll help me get to the bottom of this pain thing.

I could probably go on and on, but I'm off of the main subject now as it is. I may post other nightmares, but I'm afraid that you all will think I'm a mass murderer in Mike's body or something. A LOT of them have to do with killing people or wandering into situations where people want to kill me. There's lots of blood and guts in them, and they're just ucky.

If anyone has any suggestions to offer to help me with these dreams (aside from praying before bed...I do that already) please drop me a line and let me know.

Thanks!

So much to do and no time to do it in...

The title says it all. I have waaaay to much to do, and no time to get it done in. I'm trying to get the house packed and get ready to move to Corpus Christi, but I'm overwhelmed and it's taking me way longer to do it than it should be.

I think that the big problem is that I really have forgotten how to move long distance. We need to have a sale, but having a sale in the dead of winter is a really big problem! It's going to have to be well advertised, and it's going to have to be indoors. My house is a nightmare! I'm nowhere ready to have a sale! The things I need to sell too, like a refrigerator, and a freezer, and a couple of dressers are all items that I need to continue using for the time being too...especially the fridge. How does one sell things that they are going to continue to need until they leave?? See what I mean? I've totally forgotten how to do it!

The money issues are really starting to make me cave too. I'm going to need a truck, and I only want to rent it for the shortest amount of time that I can. The size truck that we need is the biggest one, and it's going to cost $1200 to use it for a week and return it down in Corpus. That's a butt load of money in my book. Not to mention we are going to need deposit money, and first and last months rent possibly to get an apartment. All of that is stress, and the stress is really getting to me.

I'm open to advice, opinions, and any good ideas. "You should just stay" is not an option, so don't say it. I've already let the house go, so I can't even do that anymore.

Talk to me people!

Thanks!

Attempting to quit Smoking again, but with Chantix.

Monday morning I started taking the stop smoking drug "Chantix". That was three days ago, and finally today I started noticing things that make me wonder just where this drug is taking me. I have to say, it's not necessarily a good thing either. I'm smoking cigarettes, like I'm supposed to be doing for the first week, but today I started noticing that they are NOT satisfying me in the least. The very minute I put one out, I'm wanting another one. So what do I do? I smoke another one, and find that I'm wanting yet another... and so on, and so on.

Not good. My big complaint about the nicotine patch was that when I started using it I was only smoking a pack and a half a day, and when I came off of it I was smoking two and a half packs. I can't have something like that happening again!

I'm going to search around on the web and see if I can find a group of people using Chantix that have formed a sort of support group and try to join up with them. I keep hearing about people having success with Chantix AND support, so there must be something out there somewhere. Maybe I should try to do hypnosis too? This time I definitely want to make it a success.

I'll keep you all posted.

Mike

A New, Potentially Demonic, Case

Last night I got a call from the leader of our hunting group, and he like NEVER calls me. So, I obviously knew from the moment that I saw he number on my caller ID that it was going to be a doozy of a call.

This case takes place just outside of town, and from what I've been told it may possibly contain elements of demonic possession. Apparently one of the homeowners has gone into a trance like state two times in the past month, each of which being caused by some type of emotional upheaval. One of the episodes included her eyes changing colors, and another one was precipitated with a feeling of bugs or flies crawling all over her and another member in the household. In yet another episode, another of the family members almost had physical injury done to him when his hand was gripped by the other so hard that he felt his bones were going to break. He claims that the strength was almost inhumanly strong.

There are rumours about this area of town having been a haven for satanists during the sixties and seventies, but I don't know if that bears any creedence or not as they are just wat I stated--rumours. However, one of the younger members of the household claims that he sees people in the garage and describes them as having horns on their heads. Verrrrry creepy.

I'm not mentally ready to take on a demonic case I don't think, but I guess I'm going to have to get ready to. The last one really gave me a taste of reality that I didn't want to even know about, and I wasn't at all prepared for, even though I really thought I was. It still haunts me in my mind to know that something like that is even out there, preying on fear the way it is. And wow...I really gave that one a serious dose of good eatin'.

I'm going to pray that this one isn't like that, and that it's just creepy things happening that SEEM demonic but really aren't. I cannot do an exorcism, as I think I need to be much stronger before I even consider it. I will try to gather that strength though, just in case, as I can't even begin to imagine the feelings of the poor people who are actually living with this thing.

That's all for now!

Communication

For some reason, I just can't seem to talk to people in the way I want to, and I'm starting to think that I may need to take some kind of communication class or something. People don't know how to take me sometimes. For example...

Today I asked one of my employees if he would mind coming in an hour later tomorrow and working for an extra hour...still the same amount of hours as he would total, and he basically told me that it WAS going to be a problem. Of course I was frustrated because I have things to do on Sat Morning, but I decided to step outside and smoke while I thought about the situation. Apparently he took what I was doing totally wrong, because he stormed out the door while I was in mid-thought, muttering under his breath, and obviously VERY pissed off at me. I tried to get him to stop and come back to talk to me, but he would not do it.

I think he thought that I was throwing a tantrum or something when I really wasn't, but rather I was trying to think of a way to make everyone happy. Since that time, I've come up with something that would have worked...sigh...and he's nowhere to be found. I could call him, but I want to give him enough space.

I hate it that this has happened though. I HATE being misunderstood, and I need to find a way to prevent it from happening as much as it does.

Business is soooo sloooooowww....

I think I'm going to die of boredom here at work today! I've had about 25 customers, and that's all! None of them have bought anything other than credits either...which is truly pathetic.

That's one thing about holiday weekends in this business. Everyone gets family oriented and my business pretty much stops. I guess that's a good thing in a way, because it's makes me realize that people aren't forgetting the truly important things in life.

"Pick on Mike Day" is morphing into "Pick on Mike Week." Today my car decided to get in on the act. I thought that we finally had the darned thing figured out--why it was overheating and causing me so much grief. It ran really great for a month after we invested a little money on the minor repairs it needed...or so we thought. Today it decided it wasn't going to cooperate at all anymore and left me stranded in Ankeny, forcing me to call my boss to tell her I was going to be late...and I hate that. Luckily she was VERY understanding and even came to pick me up and give me a ride into work. Tonight after work I will have to find a way back to Ankeny to get the car and hopefully I can nurse it back to Des Moines. Then I have no clue how to proceed because the thieving bastards at Wells Fargo stole all of my money for the holiday weekend. I hate Wells Fargo...and I'll most likely be closing my account after what I have out clears. I'd really like to find a bank with a heart, but I doubt that one of those truly exists. I'll settle for one that has lower overdraft fees and lower ATM fees though--heh! It frustrates me to have to close the account though, as I've had it for over ten years...since even before they were a Wells Fargo bank, back when they treated their customers with a little class and human decency rather than like a computerized machine. Oh well.

I wish my son would call. It would be really great to hear from him. With all of these mega superstar people dying these past few weeks it makes one ponder his/her mortality and the people and things that we will leave behind. I want to make sure that he knows that I love him, just in case anything ever happens to me and I don't get the chance to talk to him right before. I'm not anticipating anything, but who knows? I could step outside just in time for a wayward Mack truck to slam into the building right where I'm standing. That would suck.

Okay, I guess that's enough for today. Have a happy 4th of July if I don't get the chance to talk to anyone again.

Ciao!

Dang...what did I do to the world??

What in the hell is going on today?? This has to be an official "Pick on Mike day" or something like that??

Without going into too much detail, as I now realize that this blog is attached to Facebook, I'd like to say this....

WELLS FARGO IS A BUNCH OF THIEVING BUTTHOLES!!!
DAHL'S FOODSTORES ARE NOT FRIENDLY OR HELPFUL...SHOP AT HY-VEE..WAIT--FAREWAY IS EVEN BETTER TO HELP THE LITTLE GUY!!

There...I feel a little better...but not a lot.

Later