Goodbye to Farrah and Michael Jackson

What an incredibly sad day yesterday was! It wasn't until late in the afternoon that I learned that Farrah Fawcett had lost her 2+ year battle with Anal Cancer, but then right after I got out of the Dr's office at 6:30, I heard on the radio about Michael Jackson! What a major shocker!

I've got to say though that I feel bad for Farrah. Her death was so tragic because she fought so very hard. Anal Cancer is such a difficult disease to fight...believe me, I know. My previous significant other, Alan, died of the same thing.

The cancer, which begins as a tumor in the anus, is so much different than colo-rectal cancer. It's infinitely more painful to begin with. Colorectal Cancer is more in the colon, and inside the colon there are no nerve endings, which is why that cancer has been dubbed "The silent Killer". Anal cancer is located in the actual anus, which is lined with one of the most intense nerve clusters in the human body. Alan said that he was always in pain from that tumor and it's location where it was. He had to sit down oh, so gently when he sat in even the softest chair.

It's seems traditional for this cancer to spread from there to the liver. For the life of me, I'll never understand why. From there it moved from Alans liver into his lungs and his lymph nodes. As soon as we knew it had gotten into his lymph nodes we knew that his chances had decreased significantly. I understand that Farrah was lucky somewhat, in that she didn't get hit with the lymphatic cancer right away, and I believe that it's possible that is the reason that she got more time to fight than Alan did. It took Alan only 8 months to pass away after the inset of his cancer. Farrah got two and a half years of fight. I'm oddly proud of her for it, even though I never got the chance to meet her and have no right to be proud of her. I've watched her throughout her entire career though, and I feel as though I know her.

My heart goes out to Ryan O'Neal, whose life over the past two and a half years I have incredible empathy for. It's a horrible ride Mr. O'Neal, and I know...words cannot express how it was, or how you feel. Just hang in there. Time doesn't heal all wounds, but it makes it so that you can remember the good times more than you remember the bad times...and that alone is a huge help. Until then, hang with your family and friends...or whatever support system you have. You'll never make it on your own. You have to let the experiences of the past three years out...all the horror of it all. Only then can you begin to heal.

The first time I ever saw Farrah I think was on "I Dream of Jeannie," where I believe that she played one of Major Healy's girlfriends...but it was a very very long time ago. I also remember watching her through all of her commercials...until the NOTORIOUS 1970's iconic poster which made her the Queen of all things Blonde. Perhaps that's why I enjoyed her so much...she was the Queen of the Blondes?

MJ on the other hand...what can one say about him? Talk about a lifetime of ups and downs! When he was on the up, he was AWESOME! When he was down...wow...you can't get any lower. I'll choose to remember him for the Superstar that he was rather than the other. The man made some incredible music and changed the face of music in the 80's. He helped bring the music video art form to a brand new level not seen by anyone up to that time. He was amazing, and he will be sorely missed. I would have liked to have seen him successfully resurrect his career, as was what this batch of upcoming tours and concerts in London were supposed to do for him.

I think his tragedy is that he was only 50. I mean really, that's only 6 years older than I am right now! They are talking on the news at this very moment about how it might take toxicology 7-10 days to come back with the results of his bloodwork and what drugs might be in his system. There was an interview a few minutes ago with one person who said that they saw him just last week, and they thought that he looked overmedicated. I hope this doesn't turn out to be another Anna Nicole Smith type death....that would be so very sad, and such a waste! You would think that Doctor's would pay a lot more attention to what they are prescribing and mixing up for their patients, and the way that these drugs effect each other. People like MJ are especially vulnerable to things like that, as he was probably 100% trusting that his doctors were doing the right things for him. It's all so very, very sad.

Well, I've chatted myself out on the subject here. The only thing I have left to say is "Rest in Peace Farrah and Michael." You both made the world a better place by being in it.

Coming out of tight spots.

Hey all,

I'm going to blog about my life today because I haven't done it in such a long time, and things are starting to turn around a bit, so I figured now was the time rather than when I'm all depressed about it.

I got a notice at the end of last month that "Neighborhood Finance" was going to try to foreclose on my house at the end of this month. This was very very worrysome since they wanted $2500 by the 26th of June in order to avoid it. Lucky for me I decided to give them a call! Since I have a court case coming up where we are trying to commute a portion of my settlement from my back injury into a lump sum of cash, the mortgage company agreed to put off on foreclosure until we got done with court and will allow me to pay the lump then...in August instead of right now. I was thrilled. I had to make a payment right away though, and it was a bit of a struggle to come up with it, but we DID come up with it thanks to a few friends, and thanks to the things that i've been collecting over the past several years. his time I sold my Hollywood Autograph collection to a pawnbroker for $250. It was worth well over $400, but oh well...what can one do?

I've been having really terrible smoking related problems with my health lately too. I've caught pneumonia, and it's really been wreaking havoc with me over the past month. I have no health insurance anymore thanks to work forgetting to pay the premiums, and so I've been unable to follow up at the doctor the way that I should be doing it when I'm sick like this. I've also had terrible pain in my throat, a scratchy painful feeling that has been going on for several months now, and I'm very worried about that. Sometimes I have what I call a "throat attack", where an deep inner pain starts to build up, moves up my face and into my temples, and the only thing that will stop it is a cough drop. Sometimes if I try to take deep breaths it works too. A cough drop will stop it almost immediately though. All of these things are happening, and I also have been having the worst case of the sweats that Ive EVER had. I read on the internet about sweats, and it appears to be most common in people with Hyperthyroid conditions. Of course, since I'm diabetic, I wonder if the pills that I take for the diabetes are doing something to my thyroid as well. Also, I'm very very tired all the time. I've almost fallen asleep while typing this, and I'm at work!!! The list of woes goes on and on, including a lump that's about twice the size of a golf ball in my left bicep....which they (My Doctor and one other Dr too) swore to me was just a fatty mass after doing a CAT scan on it. I sure hope they were right...cause it's STILL growing.

Now, on the UP side, wow! My Garden has really taken off! Everything has come up with one exception, the peas, and I think it's because it's just too hot for peas now, since they are a cool weather veggie. I even have a few fruits and veggies on the vines right now too, including an Anaheim pepper, a grape tomato, and finally a cucumber. I'm really excited about the rest of the season getting here, as all it really needs now to flourish is a lot more sunshine and water...and I'm not talking about what we've been having--95 degrees with 100% humidity. That's just plain evil for Ma Nature to be doing to us AND to the plants. It's so hot outside that the plants are withering during the day even though the soil that they are standing in is plenty moist. I wonder if the roots are boiling sometimes it's so blasted hot! I'm thinking that I should have radishes that can be eaten in about two weeks! It's all pretty exciting to see something that you've worked so hard on be successful like this. I just wish I had realized just how expensive it was going to be.

My only concern in the garden is really the tomato plants. Last year they didn't bear fruit all that much because of a calcium shortage in the soil. This year I bought a soil additive specificlly for tomato plants that added calcium to the soil, but I don't know if that's going to be enough for them or not. I may wind up doing the milk thing again, much like Al did a few years back.

Okay, I guess that's all for now. I'm going to try to work on my jewelry website for a bit now. Take care all!

Iowa Senator Merlin Bartz Cleared of Ethics Complaints

Welcome back to the Good Ole Boy's version of IOWA.  Where we can drink beer and shoot at all the queers in line trying to get marriage licenses...and we can flex our political muscle and try to bend people to do our bidding if we are in elected office and not have it be against the law.

Such was the case with Senator Merlin Bartz this spring when Iowa first approved Gay Marriage in the state.  Senator Bartz wrote a letter (memo, post-it, or whatever!) to all of the people who were to issue marriage licenses to same sex couples on the first day of it's legality urging them to follow their feelings and to NOT issue marriage licenses to same-sex couples if it was against their beliefs.  State District Attorney Tom Miller was wise enough to jump in the middle of that before it truly got off the ground though, issue a statement saying that any person who refused to issue the licenses would lose thier jobs.  Thank God for Mr. Miller, as what was a wonderful day in the life of many same-sex couples here in Iowa could have turned out much differently.

When Ed Fallon, former representative in Iowa, got ahold of this information, he recognized it for what it was, a blatant misuse of Senator Bartz's power.  He hence filed a complaint with the Ethics committee.  My sig other, Dana, and myself have been writing complaints up and sending them off to ethics committee members so the outcome of this was a very big disappointment to us.  Mr Bartz was let off the hook without so much as even a slap on the wrist.

Shame on you Ethic's Committee.  As a state, we cannot allow this type of behavior to stand.  People using the pressure and influence of their political office in order to push one's own personal agenda is unacceptable, and I don't know how you folks can live with yourself after such a pathetic display of non-justice.

Since no one ever reads my blog, I'm going to stop here.  

Bah!

A Britney Spears critique.

I'm finding myself being drawn back into the Britney Spears thing again with the release of this latest single, which shocked, awed, and dissappointed me a little bit no matter how good it really is.  I guess that's why I feel the need to offer up a new critique on this girl and where I believe that her career is heading.  Aren't you just excited as heck about that?

I blasted her and the press and just about everyone out in cyberland about her back in January of 2008, telling you all that I expected her to be back after that breakdown bit and to be even better than ever--IF she could avoid killing herself.  Well, she's back with a vengeance with a great new dance album but I think we still have yet to see her true tour-de-force.  While "Circus" has merit as one of her best albums to date, I really think that she's stuck, has fallen behind (this album is about two years too late), and is trying to catch up with her career.  I think that "Circus" is beneficial for her in one respect though, as it's getting her through what a lot of oversexualized star's have to go through before they get to move into the more serious stages of their careers.  They all have to learn one simple thing:  There is no such thing as an enduring sex symbol, as everyone eventually gets old, familiar, and comfortable.  That doesn't bode well for the average sex symbol's staying power.  They have to change--to become something even better than a sex symbol.  Britney needs to become a Siren.  Siren's can keep their clothes on and still sing you out of your pants.

What I see here with Britney is almost a duplicate copy of Madonna and her sex crazed years back in the late 80's and early 90's (think "Justify My Love," "Erotica," and her "Sex" Book) and Brit's latest video "If U Seek Amy" is solid validation of that.  The song is totally amazing--incredibly dancy, fantastic beat--but once again, it's about sex.  "All of the boys, and all of the girls are begging to If U Seek Amy." is that tag line of the song which many originally thought was about Amy Winehouse, but well...it's not.  Perhaps the verses in the song are about Winehouse, but the chorus is certainly not!  She even offers up a little giggle at the start of the chorus as if to say "I tricked ya'all--this is a song telling you I know you want to F you C K me!"  In this stage of Britney's career though I feel a little disappointed.  I guess I expected much more from her, expected her to be more grown up...perhaps better supervision and management would have fixed that?  

She should take the cue from previous sex symbols LIKE Madonna and even Olivia Newton John (perhaps a better example having gone from innocence to Sex Goddess, much like Britney herself.) and NOT take it too far.  Do Sexy for an album or two and then reinvent yourself, otherwise, the public will get tired of you and start to think of you as what--Oh yeah...a slut?

So, like I was trying to say, I guess I was kinda wrong.  While she's still a pop princess extraordinaire, she's got a long way to go before she gets to be taken any more seriously with her music than that.  She needs to clean up, step up, and keep her clothes on before that can happen.  I can hardly wait, because it's going to be incredible when it happens.  I think it's going to be an original, delightful musical treat.  In the meantime, enjoy the bouncy club beat for a while longer...someone has to do it, and no one can do it like Britney Spears can.

Gun Control--what is truly politically correct?

I am stupified, stumped and stymied.  If you know me, that's quite a pickle to call myself in, as I usually have a very strong opinion about everything under the sun!  But the subject of gun control has me totally baffled, as both sides of the situation have excellent points, and I agree with both sides.

For years now I've pondered the idea of getting a gun.  With the world heading in the direction it is with terrorists invading our precious Motherland, it becomes more and more obvious that we have to face the inevitible probability of an attack on our own soil.  If this does happen, I just don't think that it's very wise to be a guy sitting around without having a means of protecting myself against the hordes of Jihadists slinging semi automatic and automatic rifles, screaming about what an infidel I am as they rob me of all my cash and valuables, eventually ending my life after collecting it all up--and this all due to a misunderstood hatred built up over years of non-communication.

Our founding fathers had the common sense to write in the bill of rights that we had the right to bear arms.  Perhaps they were thinking of a future where the country's military was too spread out to defend our own homeland, and each American having a rifle or gun of some type would allow our country to create home-town militia's to defend against invasions into our homeland.  People like Uncle Bob and Aunt Jolene would be the one to greet the handful of Afghani Jihadists as they entered the town, blowing them into little bits before the enemies of the state could even set up shop, thus allowing the military to concentrate on the larger battles abroad.

And then there is the other side of the coin, where only criminals will have guns if guns are outlawed.  There have been some pretty serious gun crimes in the country as of late, and it certainly IS enough to make one wonder about the safety of handguns.  So much has happened that we are in FEAR of the guns nowadays, and it seems that more and more unqualified people are winding up with them in their possession.  Even Children are finding Mommy and Daddies Guns and taking them to school or the playground!  What do we do?  The only sensible solution is to take them away from everyone--isn't it?

Gun crime in this country is huge now.  I understand both sides of the problem.  The question is, what is the wise thing to do?

Anyone have any suggestions?  To buy or not to buy a gun....that is the question?

My Christmas Miracles

This year I was finally blessed.  I was having the most horrible Christmastime I've ever had, possibly even including the year that my significant other died, but all of that turned around yesterday via blessings from friends and family.

My bank account got straightened out, Thank God.  Thank you friends for helping me with this and expecting nothing in return for it.  I know that you don't normally do things like that as it's normally within your reach to do so, but it's so nice to know that I have friends out there that care enough to help me when I'm in trouble, and vice versa.  You two are the best!!!

The kicker though...My Son is working!!!  YEAH!!!  He's had such a rough time this past two months, and he didn't have a job, and was working his way slowly back toward jail.  I was so worried and scared, and at the last minute, last friday, he got a job at Subway in Phoenix.  I've never been so happy for someone to get a fast food job in my entire life!!!

Also, last night, I received my Christmas package from my folks, and for some reason this year it seems so magnificent.  I'm not sure why?  I've been so afraid that it's my Mom's last Christmas, and maybe that's whats doing it--the knowledge that it's from her and from her heart....and I'm crying as I write this so I need to stop. 

These things, no matter how small they may seem to some, have been weighing on my concience like a TON of bricks.  When they lifted off of me last night, my life seemed to become almost enjoyable again, as if there were a chance that I COULD still have a Joyous Christmas, even though I've personally got no money and everyones stuff will most likely be late.

You know what though?  It's alright!  It's Christmas, and Christmas is just FULL of miracles and goodness.  The miracles have been coming for me, and if you just believe, I know that they will come for you too!  Just don't give up hope!!

A Christmas Memory...

I was listening to the radio a few minutes ago (which I have turned to Christmas Music), and the song that was playing was "Silver Bells" by Bing Crosby.  After a bit, a neat old memory came to mind that I'd like to share from when I was a child.

When I was a wee boy, not but five or six-years-old, I had a grandmother who had an old trailer with the neatest old stuff in it.  In fact, I think it may have been my Great Grandmothers house, Dulcie Morrow/Cason.  I'm not sure of the spelling of any of that though, so don't quote it.  Anyway, one of the things I can credit Great Grandma doing was introducing me to my second musical instrument, the air organ.

In the Old Days (by which I mean the 40's and 50's..LOL) there were these little keyboard organs that were made that chorded and made notes by air being blown through the organ and changing tones when keys were pressed.  This was the type of organ that it was, and you can still find these ocassionally in thrift stores or at auctions where they sell for a buck or two.  Anyway, I digress...

I took to this organ like a duck to water.  I remember sitting there with her books, which rather than notes on a sheet of music had numbers.  These numbers corresponded directly with numbers that were printed on the keys.  It was kind of "Learn to play the organ by numbers" LOL!  But I was pretty good at it.  The first song I learned was "Silver Bells", and to this day I still remember the numbers I would press on that keyboard to play that song.  In fact, I'm ocassionally find myself stuck singing the numbers rather than the song itself...apologies to Bing.  Now isn't that silly???

So...  For your enjoyment:

8 6 5 3   8 6 5 3   10 9 8 6 6 6   9 8 7  6 5 4 4+  4 4 3

8 6 5 3   8 6 5 3   10 9 8 6 6 6   9 8 7 6 5 4 4+ 4 3

3 4 5     6 7 8     7 7 8 9   8 6 8 5

3 4 5     6 7 8     7 7 8 9 8 6 8

Oh yeah....the sharp keys were noted by + signs or minus signs.

I miss you great Grandma....  Wherever you are, I hope you have a Very Merry Christmas!

Ciao!