Going Crazy!

I don't think I've ever been as busy as I have been in the past week, but I don't feel as though I've gotten a darned thing accomplished.  My major project for the month is birthdays (I've got them on 17th, 19th, and 23rd) and I've had NO luck finding anything that I can actually afford for the people that I'm buying for.  I've even attempted to do something simple, like drawing a picture for one of the people (I can draw) and frame it for her like an art print, but I can't seem to even get that going.  I start, and nothing happens.  Im just so very very pathetic!  LOL!

Today I have finally made a decision.  I am going to file for disability because I am getting much worse.  I've learned for sure that my foot is linked to the injury in my back, and it wasn't like that before, so it must be from the arthritis that came from my limping around for the past two years.  How do I know that it's my back that's causing this rather than my diabetes?  Well, it's easy.  All I have to do is look down at the floor and I'll get screaming pains shooting around my ankle and half of my foot!  How stupid is that?  It's bad enough that I can't bend without causing pain in my back, but now I can't look down???  WTF!!

I've made an appt to see my Family Doctor on the 27th of this month to discuss the possibilities with him, and I also have a meeting with my pain Doctor's associate sometime in the next two weeks (I have to figure that one out...when is it?)  and with a little luck I will be able to get statements from one, if not both of them, declaring my situation.  I know that I will have to go see a doc of their choosing as well, but I should be able to get through that.   You know, I feel like such a wimp doing this, but things are really starting to get bad.  Even the pain meds are screwing with me now when they didn't used to.  I'm falling asleep during my shifts at work while I'm on the computer.  That is a very bad thing.  My back up manager has even caught me a couple of times.  It's embarrassing, to say the very least.

So, wish me luck.  It's going to be a hard road, and I won't be able to work at all while I wait to receive disability.  There are those that will say that it's going to take me two to three years to get it.  God I hope not, especially for the sake of my house.  If D doesn't get a job soon, then I'm most certainly going to lose it all.

I'm outta here for now.